Grandparenting and Unruly Child Behavior

Retired from private practice, Dr. Beth Grosshans is a respected child psychologist who engages with educators and parents as public speaker. The author of the book Beyond Time Out: From Chaos to Calm, Dr. Beth Grosshans emphasizes effective ways of addressing Imbalance of Family Power (IFP) dynamics. Her advice extends to grandparents who, as extended family members, may spend considerable time with the children.

Dr. Grosshans talks of many grandparents scratching their heads when it comes to grandchildren’s demands. In their generation, it was not acceptable to display rude and disruptive behavior to elders. Social changes toward “democratic parenting” led to parents holding back from asserting their authority. As a result, children’s self-esteem came to be seen as more important than discipline.

Grandparents may find it difficult to talk directly with their grown children about child-rearing methods and confront them with concerns. Dr. Grosshans’ book and the IFP model enable productive discussions with a factual basis to occur.


Common Problematic Parenting Styles

Dr. Beth Grosshans wrote the book Beyond Time Out to help parents who are struggling with behavioral problems in their children. In it, Dr. Beth Grosshans outlines approaches to parenting that result in a poor balance of power in the family unit, thereby resulting in children acting out.

According to the book, there are four main parenting styles that are particularly problematic and common in today’s society. For instance, some parents focus on making their children as happy as possible in every way. While it is very important to be dedicated to the happiness and well-being of their children, these parents, known as “Pleasers,” go too far by negotiating and explaining too much to their children, a practice that causes them to lose power in the parent-child relationship. Similarly, “Pushovers” are a type of parent lets the child control the relationship by always giving in to both the child’s wants as well as needs.

On the other hand, there is the parenting style of the “Forcer.” This is a parent who interacts with children in an overly rigid and authoritative way, without understanding the need to use respect in disciplining and guiding children. Finally, “Outliers” are parents who avoid interacting with children on an emotional level, instead focusing on structured, business-like interactions.

For parents who align too closely with one of these categories, behavioral problems in children are particularly likely to occur. However, adjustments in parenting style can often go a long way in correcting an unhealthy family dynamic.

Helping Parents Reassert Control over Misbehaving Children

A respected author and clinical child psychologist, Dr. Beth Grosshans has gained a reputation for engaging with “out of control” children and helping parents deal with their misbehavior. Dr. Beth Grosshans’ book, Beyond Time Out: From Chaos to Calm, provides an achievable pathway for families experiencing “mayhem and madness” to recover their balance. This situation arises when children are allowed to take control of the family power dynamic and is the result of four decades of poor U.S. parenting advice, in which the child’s self-esteem and feelings are considered paramount.

Taken to an extreme, this parenting advice can upset the natural hierarchy of power in families and sow chaos. Dr. Grosshans recommends a five step discipline strategy called “The Ladder” as a means to restore cooperation and self-control. Her practical advice warns against heavy handed control and harsh discipline such as parental bullying and spanking. Instead, she emphasizes a level-headed, five-step approach toward gradually asserting control in areas such as eating, sleeping, and toileting. The aim is not to punish but to work with children in creating a family dynamic that has appropriate levels of order, control, and peace, where parents are in the lead.

Beyond Time Out – A Guide to Family Power Dynamics

An experienced child and family psychologist, Dr. Beth Grosshans has treated patients of all ages. Dr. Beth Grosshans, author of Beyond Time Out, currently consults with schools and families to develop power dynamics that are healthy for children’s development.

First published in 2008, Beyond Time Out serves as a response to the current prevalence of uncontrolled children and chaotic families. The book describes these trends as a result of parents feeling that they lack control over their children. Beyond Time Out explains that children know when adults no longer have control, and that this awareness causes them to feel anxious and insecure. Not having the skills to cope with this insecurity, they act out.

Beyond Time Out attributes this power imbalance to contemporary parenting styles The book explains that the past half century has taught parents how to nurture and support their children but has neglected to teach them to lead. The book instructs parents on how to communicate clearly and presents an actionable five-step strategy known as the Ladder, which can help parents regain control and reestablish a family power dynamic that makes children feel safe.